There are no failures, only unexpected results – bread bowl that turned to keto biscotti

keto biscotti
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I see ‘EPIC FAIL’ and ‘I failed at this recipe!’ often when checking out comments in the other blogs as well as seeing it on Facebook.
You haven’t failed.
Really. Trust me on this one. Would The Hobbit lead you astray?

First, in order to fail, you must not succeed at doing anything. The only failure is the fear of trying. Oh, the Hobbit knows fear well. Fear and I are close associates…but I wouldn’t call it a friend. So, maybe you didn’t get the results you wanted, but look at it this way, you now know what didn’t work for you. That is a success. Maybe you think you wasted ingredients, but were the results so horribly tasting – regardless of how they look – that it ended up being completely inedible? Yeh, I’ve had those too. We have a not so funny joke when things don’t come out as planned…’at least it’s not fish jerky.’ One day I baked some freshly caught trout. I didn’t do that hot of a job. Ok, honestly, it sucked. Epically sucked. Sucked to the ‘nth degree. I made…

Fish jerky.
Way too salty.
Barely edible.

On the plus side, if I’m ever in a survival situation and need to dry fish to sustain us without refrigeration? I have the solution. Fish jerky:).

Honestly, I make more ‘not so right’ results of my recipes than I do ‘right’ ones when trying to figure this stuff out. It happens. Each time something doesn’t come out right, I use it as a tool to figure out what to do next.
Too dry?
Try more liquid or oil.
Too runny?
Look at the fat I’m using or dry ingredients.
Tastes like burnt ass of a frog doused with charcoal?
Oops. Too much heat.
As long as the house is still standing and everyone is safe, there are no failures.

The Lady gets scared when I’m in the kitchen. It’s a toss up if the smoke detectors will go off or something will break. When I joke about her not letting me play with matches, that’s no joke. We have a firepit I built two years ago. Never sparked it up. She doesn’t trust me, lol. That’s the way stuff goes.

Like tonight. Tonight I decided to make my first attempt at a yeast-based keto bread. I really want to have a yeast bread, there’s something about that taste that you just can’t duplicate without it. Unfortunately, the first attempt? Not the right results. I was shooting for a bread bowl. I didn’t get it.

keto biscotti

Not a bread bowl 🙂
Nope. No soup going in that thing.
Not at all.
Not a bread bowl.
Not a failure.

I cut a chunk off, and it had a light yeast taste but it was also light sweet flavor. A sweet flavor like…
A shape like…
A texture like.

What did I end up with in my attempt to make a bread bowl?


keto biscotti

Tomorrow, I’ll make some dipping chocolate and coat a few, the other pieces I dusted with stevia and cinnamon.
If you want to try my unsuccessful bread-bowl-now-biscotti…here you go 🙂

NOTE* This does use a small amount of molasses, but doesn’t get any carbs from it. The yeast eats the sugar and converts it to carbon dioxide for the air bubbles. Yes, the yeast ‘farts’ in your bread. You’re welcome for that visual :). I did not exclude the molasses or yeast carbs from my values just to be totally transparent, but they technically do not count.

Ingredients (makes 8 slices):

1/2 cup unflavored whey isolate
1/2 cup vanilla whey protein
1/4 cup coconut flour
1 tbsp olive or coconut oil (melted)
1 tsp molasses
1 pkg of yeast
1.5 cup of water
1 tsp xantham gum

|Preheat oven to 325F
Proof the yeast with the molasses in the water (a little warmer than body temp) until it foams and bubbles. While waiting for it to proof, mix the dry ingredients together in a large bowl, then mix in the oil, then add the proofed water\yeast mixture and stir until well combined and you have a slightly sticky dough. If too wet, wait a few minutes for the dry to absorb the wet (coconut flour and protein powder will do that). If still too wet after 5 minutes, add another tsp of coconut flour. I didn’t have to do this but just in case…
Dump the dough onto parchment or silicon mat-lined baking sheet. Pat it into a roughly 8″ round mound. Put in oven for 20 minutes or until the sides start to brown and crust up. Removed and let stand until cool enough to lift with hands, then move to a cooling rack to finish cooling. Cut into strips once cool, return to the oven on 350F for 10 minutes to dry the cut edges.
Dust with whatever you feel like using or dip in chocolate and cool. ENJOY!

keto biscotti

Nutritional info (based off my ingredients, check yours! 1 slice, undipped): Calories: 69, Fat: 3g, Protein: 9g, Carbs: 5, Fiber: 3, Net Carbs: 2

Hey, if you read this and like it, feel free to give me some feedback in the comments. I’d love to hear from everyone on what they think of my ‘creations.’ If you have questions, ask! If you hate them, tell me 🙂. If you do your own tweaks, let me know, I love to learn new things!!

~The Hobbit

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1 Comment

  1. Nice one!
    Though I’m still trying to get the burnt frog out of my mind, the crunchy sweetness of biscotti sounds great!

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