You know what goes great with cookies? COOKIES!!! Faux Oatmeal Keto Cookies!

Faux oatmeal cookies
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I do love the Muppets – Kermit, Big Bird, Oscar. Ok, so Elmo is cute but to be honest, I find him frigging annoying for more than 30 seconds. I like old school Muppets. Mr Hooper. Luis. Bert and Ernie. Rubber Ducky. That stuffy eagle dude. The Count! Hell, I think I learned more about grammar, spelling, and basic math from Sesame Street than I did the first 4 years of school. But growing up as a fat kid, Cookie Monster has always had a special place in my heart. “C is for cookie, that good enough for me!” Truer words never uttered by a piece of shag carpet with a hand up the backside :).


I love cookies. The are almost the perfect snack food. Sweet. Fits in your hand. Goes well with coffee, tea, milk, or nothing at all. I love chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, and most of all, a soft and sweet oatmeal cookie. Shit. I wanna a cookie now but being low carb, that kinda makes things difficult, doesn’t it?

Censored Cookies

NOPE! I’ve found a lot of recipes out there for chocolate chip cookies and other cookies, but duplicating the taste and texture of an oatmeal cookie – minus the brown sugar and oats? A bit tough. Ok, more than a bit tough. Hard as hell, actually. I’m going to be right up honest with this one, I didn’t find the answer. The Lady did. Hemp seeds. Yeh. We’ve had a bag of them under the counter for a couple of months, both trying to figure out how to use them other than a quick handful for a snack. I had picked them up when we were on a Hemp Revolution, lol. We tried hemp milk (holy carbs, Batman!), hemp protein (great for cooking but in shakes? Nooo, unless you like beach sand texture), and hemp oil (which I still love and use regularly in both BFC and cooking). The seeds? Hard to really put a handle on the taste. Smooth and a little oily like a Brazil nut, but almost a pine nut taste too. Hard to describe. Hemp is loaded with all 20 amino acids (including the 9 essential), and has a perfect balance of 3:1 with Omega-6 to Omega-3s. Pretty cool stuff. I happened to have gotten Nutiva Hempseeds, check the ones you find to make sure they are non-GMO and organic. Or don’t if that stuff isn’t a big deal to you. Us hobbits are pretty easy to get along with :).


**Disclaimer: Nutiva wanted so badly for me to use their hempseeds that they graciously let me hunt all over freaking hell in this area to find them, stand in line behind 10000000 other shoppers to check out, spend my own money, and drive back home in the Hobbitmobile, only to find the roads were so bad with frost heaves that the bag of seeds had launched itself out of the grocery bag and lodged under the passenger seat. In other words, yeh, I’m not making any money off this plug, I just like their stuff. 

Today is a little overcast, warmer than usual for this time of year but pretty bleak looking at the same time. It feels like a good day for cookies. Ok, so there is never a BAD day for cookies. I had some filling left over from my Kabocha\Pumpkin Whoopie pies that I was thinking would have made a SMASHING ingredient to slip between two of these cookies. Can you say Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme clones?!?!?!?! I wish. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on perspective), that didn’t happen because once these bad boys came out of the oven, they were in the belly. I almost felt like my spirit Muppet, I couldn’t eat them fast enough! Next time…

So, do you want to give them a go?  Protein-packed Faux Oatmeal Cookies. Makes 12.


  • 1 cup smooth almond butter (no sugar added!!)
  • 1/3 granulated stevia
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 5 Tbls water
  • 1 tbsp flax meal
  • 2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/8 tsp nutmeg
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
  • 1/2 tsp maple extract
  • 1/4 cup hemp seeds
  • 2 tbsp egg whites

Preheat oven to 350F. Prep your cookie sheet with parchment or silicon mat.

By now, you should know how we roll in the House of Hobbit. Nothing is a ton of steps. We like simple. We like basic. We hate too much work. Dump everything in a bowl. Stir until combined. Drop on cookie sheet with a spoon or small ice cream scoop (which reminds me, need to get a new one of those. Our’s is not doing the sweep-dump-scrape thing any more 🙁 ). Pop in your oven for 10 minutes or until the edges start to lightly brown. Take them out of oven and leave them on the cookie sheet until they are cool to the touch. Move them to your mouth…errr…I mean move them to a cooling rack to finish cooling. Then move to your mouth. Or both. Screw it, eat them whenever you feel like it 🙂

Faux oatmeal cookies

Nutritional information (per cookie) : Calories: 143, Fat: 12, Protein: 6, Carbs: 4, Fiber: 3, Net carbs: 1

Hey, if you read this and like it, feel free to give me some feedback in the comments. I’d love to hear from everyone on what they think of my ‘creations.’ If you have questions, ask! If you hate them, tell me :). If you do your own tweaks, let me know, I love to learn new things!!

~The Hobbit

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  1. hemp seed hmmm what a fabulous idea!

    1. I’d admit, I wasn’t sure how it would come out, but I tried them after without them and it just wasn’t the same. Hemp seeds are the key, plus they are so good for us too :). Thanks for the comment!!

  2. Hey hobbit, am loving our site…need to get me some hemp seeds. One question about the cookies….are they crunchy?

    1. Depends on how long you bake them. If you like crunchy, then leave them in a little longer. They will crisp up without getting nasty. I like mine on the softer side. The hemp seeds give a nice texture, more chewy than crunch like other nuts and seeds. I’m working on a variation of these to duplicate ginger snaps, I’ll be posting it when I get the kinks worked out. Those will definitely be crunchy.

      Thanks for following 🙂

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